careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm really busy with my period
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