So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
