PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
