Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
