Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
