I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
