Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Randomize
