but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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