I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
