Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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