No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
