I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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