Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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