Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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