well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
