Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
third nipple confirmed
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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