Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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