So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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