She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
