So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
