wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
