mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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