Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
