it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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