So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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