I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
