are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
