Me. At least after what I've been through.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
