Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
do nipples grow back?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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