Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
