You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
