I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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