How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
