I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think your dad took our porno
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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