so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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