He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
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