my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
