"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Randomize
