i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
