I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
