So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
