No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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