No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
