1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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