just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
