I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
