Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My balls are so social today.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
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