Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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