she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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