You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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