so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
